Think Before You Speak Part 1

There is no way a negatives things Can Produce Positive Results Each time you open your mouth you must ask yourself, " Is what i Will say make her to have Interest in me?" Be you a politician you would have to ask yourself, "Is this speech going to get me votes or help my opponent to win?" Realize that what you can say to your best male friend, you cannot necessarily say to HER. Remember women and men are different. For you to make a long list of what to say and what not to say, here is a simple rule that will protect you 100% of the time: Keep it funny and light. There should be no negatives, no Put-downs, and No 'Heavy' Subjects. Why no negatives? Is only because they'll kill any possibility of a long-term relationship. Because negatives make you look bad and have a negative bad effect coming right back at you. Because if you don't talk negatives or get into heavy subjects, you have no choice rather than to be playful. Being playful is the proper role you should assume in a romantic relationship, and Married men forget this. When they were dating, one of the things she liked about him was that he was so positive and uplifting to be with. It seemed nothing ever got him down. Whether single or married , keep it light and keep it funny. That's what she wants and responds to. Some might think it means playing "games" or being manipulative. But On the contrary, this is the fine art of assuming the proper role. Let's face it, when you're in Rome you act as a Roman. You should assume the proper role for each situation. Does this mean that you can't be yourself? Not at all. It means you must be 'more pleasant' when you are with her. After all, it take little effort to complain about everything all the time. The only advice here is to cool it and ask yourself: "Is what I am saying going to produce a positive or negative response?" Remember you want a positive reaction. Trip the light fantastic... Your role in a romantic relationship must be playful and of a little bit of humor. The first few days lay the foundation of any relationship. In the past, before you can decide on a mate, he or she first considered the man's or woman's positives and negatives, and if there were no any negatives, he or she would choose him or her. But the woman of today has a different attitude, she looks only for the negatives to disqualify you as a potential mate. The woman disqualified you with the following reasons: She's not available, not interested, doesn't return your calls, breaks dates. You know the tricks. Now the question i want to ask you is that Why are you give her the chance or room to disqualify you. So...... Keep it light, keep it funny. No negatives, no put-downs and no heavy subjects. For more interesting articles, visit: http:// www.thegoodhealthtips.blogspot.com http:// www.makingmoneyonlineforlife.blogspot.com http:// www.datingsecrtsrevelationforall.blogspot.com

MAKING FIRST CALL

Making the First Call


I was at a large garden store the other day which had an indoor area and an outdoor area where they sell large items for the yard. Gardening bonanza Things like fountains, large pottery, huge vases, and statues. The objects are large and heavy, not something you pick up and take to the cashier.

An attractive and fit woman, about 45 years old wearing a skirt and heels was shopping. I'm guessing she was an interior designer shopping for something for her client's home. Accompanying her as she looked over some pottery was a male store employee, probably about 30 years old. He was pushing a cart where he could load any object she selected.

As I watched them, through my sunglasses while in 'stealth' mode I could see the object she really wanted to select was HIM!

What a lesson this was. This guy, good looking was just there doing his job. The woman was very excited-not about shopping-but about him. She was talking to him and smiling, touching his arm, pointing out things. But the way she was standing, the way she played with her hair, her body language, all said "come and get me".

I went on with my shopping and later saw her checking out with the cashier and he wasn't around. I left and as I got into my car she was leaving the building and walking toward her car, an SUV.

Behind her was the guy, pushing the cart with some of the objects she had bought. I sat in my car watching them in the rear-view mirror pretending like I was talking on the phone. He loaded the things in her SUV and this was the time for her to get into her vehicle and for him to return, with his cart, to the store.

I Love This, ah, plant But it didn't happen that way. Instead they stood there talking. I wish I had super hearing because I'm sure this is the part where she said something like, "So what do you like to do when you're not working...?"

And I was sure within a few seconds she would be giving him her card or her phone number and suggesting they get together. Unfortunately I couldn't hear and couldn't stay, but as I pulled out of the parking lot, turned up the steet and made a U-turn to head for home I passed them again and they were still standing behind her SUV talking. And she was still very happy to be there, looking like a teenager talking to a high-school football star.

So, let's assume I'm right in assessing what I saw, and she definitely had high interest level in the guy and he got her number with an invitation to get together soon, or maybe even tonight after work.

What should he do?

If he likes her and wants to pursue something that might be a long-term relationship, he should wait 5-7 days and call her. If he just wants to please a woman who obviously wants to have sex with a younger guy and doesn't care about a future, he should seize the opportunity. But he should also be aware that she knows where he works, and that puts her in control.

Dating & Mating Secrets ...

Making the First Call


I was at a large garden store the other day which had an indoor area and an outdoor area where they sell large items for the yard. Gardening bonanza Things like fountains, large pottery, huge vases, and statues. The objects are large and heavy, not something you pick up and take to the cashier.

An attractive and fit woman, about 45 years old wearing a skirt and heels was shopping. I'm guessing she was an interior designer shopping for something for her client's home. Accompanying her as she looked over some pottery was a male store employee, probably about 30 years old. He was pushing a cart where he could load any object she selected.

As I watched them, through my sunglasses while in 'stealth' mode I could see the object she really wanted to select was HIM!

What a lesson this was. This guy, good looking was just there doing his job. The woman was very excited-not about shopping-but about him. She was talking to him and smiling, touching his arm, pointing out things. But the way she was standing, the way she played with her hair, her body language, all said "come and get me".

I went on with my shopping and later saw her checking out with the cashier and he wasn't around. I left and as I got into my car she was leaving the building and walking toward her car, an SUV.

Behind her was the guy, pushing the cart with some of the objects she had bought. I sat in my car watching them in the rear-view mirror pretending like I was talking on the phone. He loaded the things in her SUV and this was the time for her to get into her vehicle and for him to return, with his cart, to the store.

I Love This, ah, plant But it didn't happen that way. Instead they stood there talking. I wish I had super hearing because I'm sure this is the part where she said something like, "So what do you like to do when you're not working...?"

And I was sure within a few seconds she would be giving him her card or her phone number and suggesting they get together. Unfortunately I couldn't hear and couldn't stay, but as I pulled out of the parking lot, turned up the steet and made a U-turn to head for home I passed them again and they were still standing behind her SUV talking. And she was still very happy to be there, looking like a teenager talking to a high-school football star.

So, let's assume I'm right in assessing what I saw, and she definitely had high interest level in the guy and he got her number with an invitation to get together soon, or maybe even tonight after work.

What should he do?

If he likes her and wants to pursue something that might be a long-term relationship, he should wait 5-7 days and call her. If he just wants to please a woman who obviously wants to have sex with a younger guy and doesn't care about a future, he should seize the opportunity. But he should also be aware that she knows where he works, and that puts her in control.

Overcoming Nerves, The Approach

I'm getting questions from around the world about dating and meeting women and starting a relationship.

I was born in the USA but I've traveled the world. My advice is based on years of successful experience dating American women and women from other Western countries.

While customs and social traditions vary from country to country, some things are Universal. Men and women around the world are pretty much the same. Men want sex and women want to be loved. Men respond to a sexy woman and women respond to a man who has confidence and is a challenge.

Some women insist that a man be good looking. Forget them. Have you seen the ugly guy with the babe? And she's hanging all over him? Wonder why? Because he's very confident and he's in control and she loves that! Ever see the guy who's hanging all over the beautiful babe and she's there sipping on her drink and wondering 'who's next'? You figure it out. HOW do you do it?

I'm getting questions about the approach.

How do you do it? How do you go up to a woman and meet her and ask her for her private phone number.

How do you overcome your nervousness?



Let's start with a simple fact.
You don't know her now.
So whatever you do, you can't blow it.

You can't be farther away than that.

If you don't know her, you don't know her.

If you don't know her you can't lose her.

If you don't know her she can't dump you, she can't break up with you, she can't stop dating you.

In other words, you have nothing to lose.

A good understanding of this reality is a start and should give you confidence. Absorb that and understand that you can't make a mistake.

I've been there. I've been all nervous and approaching a woman and wondering if I was going to say the right thing. I've gone in shaking and she can tell.

I once approached a woman and asked her to dance. She said, "With YOU? No thanks!"

That was a mind-shattering experience that happened years ago and I still come to think about it. But as I recollect what happened I understood what I did wrong. Two things.

First, I did not show confidence.

And second, I let her response bother me. Fact is, she was the loser. She missed out on meeting me.

I'd like to meet you but... Try this approach. You see a woman you want to meet.

You walk up to her and simply say: "I'd like to meet you but I'm a little unsure of the best approach. How would you advise me?"

If she says she's not interested, fine. Smile and confidently say, "good advice, thanks" and walk away.

If she is interested, you've set the starting point for some fun conversation. I can see it going like this:

You: "I'd like to meet you but I'm a little unsure of the best approach and I'm not really very good at this. What would you suggest?" (You can do this with a feeling of confidence, because it's true)

Her: "Well you might start by telling me your name and asking mine."

You: "Are you sure that will work?"

Hopefully, she'll get your spirit of fun and begin to have fun as you play this meeting game.

Something that starts fun, might just end up the way you want.

Remember to get her talking about herself.

But if you didn't, what do you suggest? But what if she responds to your first question with: "I have a boyfriend."

Try this: "I'm sure you do. But if you didn't, what do you suggest is the best way for a guy to approach a woman he wants to meet?"

If she gives you advice, use it right then by saying, "Mind if I try it out?" And then do just that.

Who knows what might happen. Maybe she doesn't even have a boyfriend.

Good luck.

Let Her Touch You

Face-to-Face or It's a Waste

It's been a while since I added a chapter and this chapter addresses questions that deal with communication with a woman who you want to get closer to.

A lot of guys are communicating with women by texting, IM, Facebook, Myspace, and Twitter. Everybody does it and so do you. She does it, and so do her friends. By doing so you think you're "connected." He's funny -- but I'd never date him

I say BULL! Sure you're connected along with a couple hundred other people.

You think you're special because she's responding to your texts? Because she sends you messages on Facebook? Because she lets you know what she's doing or wants to know what you're doing on Twitter? Don't believe it for a minute.

I've gotten a lot of questions that go something like this. "Hey Steve, things were going great, we were texting each other all the time and when I asked her out on a date she said, 'I thought we were friends'."

You thought you were making progress and she thought you were "friends." She thinks different than you.

Hey guys, you keep assuming she thinks like you.

SHE DOESN'T!!!!!

She thinks like a woman.

If you want to gain control you have to understand that. You have to take control and be in control and that means doing things the way you want-especially in deciding how you're going to communicate with her AND how available you are if she wants to communicate with you.

I have covered this before, but obviously the problem is more serious than I thought.

Drop all the digital and electronic communication crap and get to the personal meeting, the personal interaction and the talking face-to-face as soon as you can.

And then, when you have started the relationship keep the personal aspect going.

Wow -- he's much better in person That means be together IN PERSON as often as YOU want to. Do not fall into the impersonal cyber-world trap that everybody is in.
Sure, we think we're connected with our "friends," and we accumulate them on Facebook like little girls collecting charms for their bracelet, but we're only connected on paper, or in this case on our computer screen, or iPhone screen.

You want to be connected?

Nothing is better than sitting across from the woman of your dreams and looking into her eyes and enjoying listening to her talk as she touches you.

Accept no substitutes. If you're sending her a message it should be "call me."

If she texts or Twitters or Facebook messages you "What are you doing now?" Your response should be something like "Can't tell you now, call me." Or how about this response? "Later."

If you can't get to her the way you want, make her come to you.

If she doesn't, move on to the one who does.

If you like her and want to see more of her and want to be with her in person, you must take control. If you don't have control at the start it will be hard to get control.

Afraid you might lose her using "Steve's Method"? Well if you do, I say you didn't have her anyway. You can only truly build her interest in you as a person. Human to human. That's the only time she can touch you, when she's there.

I'm so glad we met Sure, you can create an element of mystery through digital communication but the only way you can build or strengthen a relationship is in person.

Not on the phone, not through email, text message or Facebook.

ONLY IN PERSON!!!

And if you insist on that you will be different than most guys out there.

Stay tuned, more to come.

How to tell if she's interested.

Is she interested?

In Tip no:1 -- I introduced the subject of her interest in you and how important it is.

Let's assume you're at a coffee shop and you see a woman you want to meet. You approach her and say something like, "I haven't seen you here before, what's your name?"

Let's say she tells you her name answering "Kelli."

She has immediately sized you up, made a decision to tell you her name and done so.

Would you say she is interested in knowing you?

I would say she's not very interested.

Why?

Because she didn't ask you for your name.

She didn't say "My name is Kelli, what's yours?" If she does say that, you're off to a good start.

Let's take another example.

You approach her and say something like this: "Hi, I'm John. I haven't seen you here before, who are you?"

* If she says "Hi John, I'm Kelli," that's a great sign.
* If she extends her hand toward you for a handshake, even better.
* If she responds to the "who are you" in your introduction with something like "I'm just a person who enjoys coffee" and doesn't offer her name it's not a good sign. She's not immediately interested in you.

Does that mean it's over with her?

Not necessarily.

An important thing to understand in dealing with women is She is the one who decides if the introduction, the conversation and the relationship will go forward. The woman makes the decision based on her level of interest.

Can you make her more interested in you?

With skill, yes.

But in the first seconds of that first meeting, she on a very primitive level, decides if she likes what she sees and hears or not. It's a spontaneous reaction to what she sees and feels about you.

Are you threatening? Are you smiling? Do you seem friendly or aggressive? Are you confident or nervous?

She has a special kind of radar and makes the decision immediately. Of course you could also catch her on a bad day. She may have just come from her dog's funeral and is not in a very good mood. But assuming that's not the case, her interest in you is much more important than your interest in her.

The big mistake we men make is thinking that because I like her, she should like me.

The way you feel about her has nothing to do with it. If she doesn't like you, or want to know you better, it's over. Don't waste your time.

When approaching a woman for the first time I have always liked the "Who are you" question, with emphasis on the word 'are.'

It suggests curiosity and at the same time indicates you have confidence.

Your assignment for this tip is to meet women.

Find ways of saying 'hello' and introducing yourself. Especially if it's a woman you are not attracted to. It's called practice. And if you're not really interested in her, you have nothing to lose and you won't be nervous. Give it try. Have fun and observe what happens.

DON'T MAKE THIS MISTAKE!.

I was living in a city and looking for women to date. Actually I was looking for the ideal woman, someone I could spend some time with and perhaps even develop a meaningful relationship.

At the time I enjoyed going to art gallery openings. It was a great venue to meet girls. There were finger foods, hors d'oeuvres, wine and/or champagne and sometimes beer, all free. And professional women and women of class liked to attend gallery openings where the work of an artist was on display. So what's not to like?

There were three or four gallery openings every month in the Los Angeles/Beverly Hills area and when I could I would attend. They usually started about 6 P.M. so women would come after work and, like me, enjoy free food and beverages while pretending to be interested in the art on display. It was fun!

I was wandering around a gallery on La Cienega Avenue and spotted a fantastic looking prety woman with another. I approached her and asked her something like, "What impresses you most about this artist?"

Now she had no idea who I was. For all she knew I might even be the artist whose work was on display.

We met at an art gallery She gave me some answer, which led me to another comment. We introduced ourselves,her name was Darcy and before I knew it we were in a conversation. And I felt, from her body language and attitude Darcy was very comfortable talking with me.

Her friend, seeing we were in a conversation, walked away leaving us to ourselves talking. I suggested I was interrupting her tour of the gallery and she said, "Oh no, I'm enjoying talking with you."

BINGO! She was definitely displaying a high level of interest.

We talked about what we did, I was working in a television house and she was a musician with the Los Angeles Symphony Orchestra.

When her friend came back I excused myself saying, "I'll let you two check out some of the art and maybe I'll see you before you leave."

That was a very good move on my part because I knew she liked me and I removed myself.

Remember, it's not how much I like her that's important. What's MOSt important is how much she likes me.

I immediately represented a challenge to her as I walked away.

But I kept watching her from across the gallery out of the corner of my eye. I approached her briefly about 15 minutes later and asked if she'd found a favorite piece of art yet. "Still looking" she replied. I kept moving and kept my eye on her, once seeing that she was also watching me.

When I sensed Darcy and her friend might be getting ready to leave I approached her and said, "Nice meeting you. I'm going to get going. Maybe I'll see you at another opening sometime."

She responded with "Aren't you going to ask for my phone number?"

Do you see what happened? Wow, it was great! I was jumping out of my skin. "Oh sure" I said. "What is your number?"

She replied, "You weren't even going to ask were you?" I said, "Well, I thought you might be involved with someone."

"I'm not, do you have a pen? I'll give you my number."

"I don't have a pen, but I'll remember it."

Now she really thought I wasn't interested and was blowing her off. This was probably very disconcerting because she was a real knockout and probably never experienced a guy talking to her and not hitting on her.

She looked at me with doubt in her eyes. "Not really, tell me your number and I will remember it. I promise", I said.

She gave me her number, I repeated it and said goodnight. She said "Call me!"

Always carry a pen As I left the gallery I was repeating the number over and over in my head so I wouldn't forget it. I ran to my car, grabbed a pen and wrote it down. I was ecstatic! (by the way, it pays to always have a pen)

I drove home very excited about calling this beautiful woman who was very interested in me. I had done everything right.

I got home, poured myself a glass of wine and then, estimating how long it would take her to get home, made a HUGE mistake.

I called the beautiful Darcy.

She answered and was very surprised I called saying something like, "I didn't think you would call, certainly not so soon."

I told her I enjoyed talking with her and was looking forward to seeing her again sometime. She said she'd like to know more about me and kept the conversation going.

Well who doesn't like talking about themselves?

But doing that, this early in the game is the worst thing you can do, and I did it.

She asked me a couple of questions; Where are you from? How did you get into your business? Where is your family? Etc.

I started blabbing about me and forgot about asking more about her.

I forgot to let her do most of the talking. I forgot that women love it when you listen to them instead of talking about you.

My ego had me believing my story was so very interesting that she would be dazzled by what she heard. It turned out to be a two-hour phone call and about 90-minutes into it, Darcy stopped listening and began telling me what was wrong with me.

She had been listening and analyzing me and everything I said, drawing conclusions that she thought were true.

Now remember, she doesn't know me. We only had small chit-chat at the gallery and then our 90-minute call on the phone where I spilled my guts about stuff that she seemed interested in.

I mean I really blabbed, talking about my childhood, my tough times, my good times, etc., completely removing any mystery about Matt.

Don't call me again. By the end of that long phone call, Darcy said "Please don't ever call me again."

What!!??

In a matter of a few short hours I had taken it from "Call me", to "Don't ever call me again".

And I did it all by myself by breaking two important rules:

1. Wait 4 to 9 days before calling. (I didn't)

2. When you first meet, use the phone only to make a date, not to get to know someone. (I didn't)

Not only that, I relinquished control and I was no longer a challenge.

I was just like some guy who was too eager and too interested in telling her about me. Now I was just like every other guy she ever met.

After she gave me her number, and insisting I take it, I completely blew it with the beautiful Darcy. But, I was cool and thought I might be able to save it.

I waited two days and called her, getting her voicemail. I didn't leave a message, but the next day I called again and this time I got her.

I apologized for running off at the mouth the other night and suggested we should get together for a drink sometime. "I don't think so", she said. "It would never work, goodbye."

And that was the last time I spoke to Darcy. Needles to say, I learned a lot that week.

I hope you've learned from my mistakes.